Two of our friends from our congregation here got married, more or less, yesterday. I say "more or less" because marriages here are a bit complex. I do NOT know all the details, as I only have about 22.5 years of education, and I think it takes a good bit more to comprehend marriage intricacies here.
The first step in the process appears to be a meeting between the families of the engaged couple. Here the "labola" is negotiated. The labola is the "brid-price". Because the husband removes the wife from the opportunity to care for her parents, the parents get compensated to help them in thier old age. Because the key medium of financial exchange here was cattle, the bride price is ususally negotiated in terms of "how many cattle" is this lady worth? Sounds a bit crude to us doesn't it? But it isn't crude at all, it's just normal here.
Our engaged lady is a pediatrician trained in the USA, so she commanded a fair price. The price negotiations are done mostly be the uncles of the family, who are looking out for the interests of all parties- at least theoretically.
Once the bride price is paid, and it is more modernly done is cash vs cows, the two can go to the Magistrate and get their marriage registered, from which point they are consideredd legally married... but not so fast.
Their typically is at least TWO wedding ceremonies. We attended the first of these ceremonies yesterday. It was a lovely, beautiful ceremony and very Christian... and almost disappointing. It could well have been in the USA. It was a bit longer than in the USA and included three hymns, but we could have been in Canton, GA, except for the one instance of ululating (the neat sound the women make to express joy and excitement).
Aside from the ritual, the most important thing is the Christian symbolism that comes to mind on these occassions. Marriage is challengeing and it involves growth. It involves some degree of selflessness, and some sacrifice. I think this is the principle reason that so many marriages end in divorce.
But marriage was given by G^d as a symbol of the Christ and the Church. The Christ is that perfect example of loving sacrifice. And marriage is one opportunity for husband and wife to practice "conforming to the image of the Christ." "He must increase but I must decrease."
Amen.
The first step in the process appears to be a meeting between the families of the engaged couple. Here the "labola" is negotiated. The labola is the "brid-price". Because the husband removes the wife from the opportunity to care for her parents, the parents get compensated to help them in thier old age. Because the key medium of financial exchange here was cattle, the bride price is ususally negotiated in terms of "how many cattle" is this lady worth? Sounds a bit crude to us doesn't it? But it isn't crude at all, it's just normal here.
Our engaged lady is a pediatrician trained in the USA, so she commanded a fair price. The price negotiations are done mostly be the uncles of the family, who are looking out for the interests of all parties- at least theoretically.
Once the bride price is paid, and it is more modernly done is cash vs cows, the two can go to the Magistrate and get their marriage registered, from which point they are consideredd legally married... but not so fast.
Their typically is at least TWO wedding ceremonies. We attended the first of these ceremonies yesterday. It was a lovely, beautiful ceremony and very Christian... and almost disappointing. It could well have been in the USA. It was a bit longer than in the USA and included three hymns, but we could have been in Canton, GA, except for the one instance of ululating (the neat sound the women make to express joy and excitement).
Aside from the ritual, the most important thing is the Christian symbolism that comes to mind on these occassions. Marriage is challengeing and it involves growth. It involves some degree of selflessness, and some sacrifice. I think this is the principle reason that so many marriages end in divorce.
But marriage was given by G^d as a symbol of the Christ and the Church. The Christ is that perfect example of loving sacrifice. And marriage is one opportunity for husband and wife to practice "conforming to the image of the Christ." "He must increase but I must decrease."
Amen.
Interesting. What's the second ceremony for?
ReplyDeleteI am NOT sure, but I think when people of two diff. tribes/clans marry, they do one wedding for each tribe/clan.
DeleteYeah, what the second ceremony like and what happened to your other 14 years of marriage experience? Is there something you're not telling us?!
ReplyDeleteI am NOT sure what it is like, but I think when people of two diff. tribes/clans marry, they do one wedding for each tribe/clan.
DeleteHmm, I said I had only 22.5 years of EDUCATION, but if we add 14 to 22.5 we get 36.5... SOOOOO what happened to our other 5 years of wedded bliss ANNA???? (We been married 41.5 yrs).