Thursday, March 12, 2015

Long Term Care Plans

I am at the age (but not Brenda) where I am thinking about Long term health care, and similar issues. I have done some investigating and discovered:
  1. These can be very expensive.
  2. Those that are affordable don't offer much in the way of benefits.

I could give you some specifics, but take my word for it, insurance is about MAKING money, not losing it. You probably already knew lots about insurance.

I have NOW thought of a couple of alternatives.  My favorite, and the one most likely to work well is to time things correctly.  If I discover on a Thursday that I will be needing to move into an expensive nursing home, on Friday I need to schedule an UNarmed Wallstreet stock market robbery in broad daylight, preferably at the height of business. I will likely use my walker to threaten the traders and take them hostage. Their will be a well-televised standoff where I threaten to ram my walker through the vault door, unless I am given a helicopter and free passage to some island in the Caribbean.

I will then likely fall asleep and be arrested.  I will speedily plead guilty ad hope to be sent to a white-collar prison where...
  • Medical care is free,
  • Food is free,
  • Cable is free,
  • and I am somewhat of a legend among my fellow white-collar inmates, and I will tell the story of my arrest over and over and over.

Nah, I don't think I could bring myself to do this, but it's not a bad plan, eh?

Special note to my less ethical friends: DO NOT do this! It is unethical, immoral and illegal.

On the other hand, the way things are going, I might one day get the same deal just for sharing the Gospel. So, the decline of America does have a bright side, doesn't it?

Special note to my less clever friends: This is satire. I do NOT intend to go to jail for breaking any laws- except maybe  if proclaiming the Gospel really does become  illegal.

Thanks for your attention.

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