Friday, April 3, 2015

The Final Exam Story Scam That No Longer Works Out for the Student

Here is an old, oft-told story:

"Subject: Finals

It was the final examination for an introductory English course at a university. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 800 students in the class. The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail.

Half an hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet.

"You're not going to have time to finish this," the professor said, as he handed the student a booklet.

"Yes I will," replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing.

After two hours, the professor called for the exams and the students filed up and handed them in--all except the late student, who continued writing.

Half an hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there.

"Oh, no you don't! I'm not going to accept that. It's late."

The student looked incredulous and angry, "Do you know who I am?"

"No, as a matter of fact, I don't," replied the professor with an air of sarcasm in his voice.

"DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!" the student asked again.

"No, and I don't care," replied the professor with an air of superiority.

"Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and briskly walked out of the room."   The end.

One of my friends forwarded the story with this comment:

"Here is a student with something on the ball."

Of course when the prof looks at his "Picture Class List" on MYBAMA he should be able to identify the culprit.

Ain't technology wonderful?

So, students, just show up on time and don't try to be such smartalecs!!


  1. Aww, and I thought that cheating, lazy student was winning. Maybe you could add that it was a very near sighted prof....

  2. This isn't an urban legend, it happened to me.

    Five years ago on a Thursday night, I received a desperate email from a student that read,

    "Dear Dr. Fondren, I am so sorry to tell you that I can't be at the mid-term tomorrow. I'm terribly sick and hope to make to the doctor tomorrow."

    Normally I would just pray for the student and let it go, because I had a great mentor. But this time, I decided to right-click on the email and look at the header info. Ten years of IT work has its perks.

    It came from "Emily's Phone" (name changed to protect the guilty). The second thing I noticed was that it originally sent from "SharkysGuest" at 11:08 PM. Sharky's is a popular local bar with a wifi network.

    This is what I replied back. "Dear Emily, I'm so sorry to hear you are sick. I have even worse news. Someone has stolen your phone and has it at Sharky's Bar on the night of your birthday" (Thanks for that info, Facebook).

    I never saw this student again. Not in the hallway, not on campus, no where.

    Moral of this story, sharks and mentors are dangerous.